Curbing FEAR with the Rope of Hope

     I think I am the most fearful person in the world. I fear the future, I fear the hauntings of my past, I fear God, work, sickness, loss of a loved one...the list goes on. The overall collapsing fear is my fear of people. This plays out in many ways. One is in my performance. I'm so afraid of not living up to the expectations (or what I perceive as expectations) of those around me that I will either push through it and suffer the effects of anxiety, panic attacks, and depression or I will avoid the situation all together. 
     When I push through something, sometimes my personality gets ugly. I get angry, yell, curse, throw stuff, punch holes in doors (the ones that are hollow, not solid) or quietly check out of relationships. (I know, drama king huh?) When I avoid stuff, I find that, just like the earth continues to push rocks up in the field, my issues keep resurfacing. Eventually I have to deal with them.
     Fearing this way is a sin and I confess that this is an area of sin that I continue to return to. Honestly, I really don't know if I'll ever get out of it. It's almost like it is in my blood and I would have to have some sort of miraculous transfusion to not fear people any more. 
     I am currently in a position where my job is coming to an end soon and my prospects are as thin as the ice in April. I was looking at all the billboards along the highway as I drove to work the other day. It appeared to me that everyone has a job and they are all VERY passionate about what they do. The business logo on the side of a van told me "that guy really loves electrician work". The billboard said "we love selling jewelry" while another said "we love giving the best healthcare". 
     Honestly, I am very intimidated by that because if I had a billboard I don't really know what I would say with it. It might say something like this, "I want you to know that YOU have value and DON'T ever let anyone discourage you from what you love to do". (By the way, I am writing as I think...this entry has not been prepared.) What I just wrote about my billboard tells me that I want to tell people exactly what I want to hear and do. 
     My dad says, "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life". That's where I want to be. If I could get paid to encourage people to love God, love themselves and not to let the "world" set their worth and value, that would be the BEST job! The icing on the cake would be to do that AND play killer music with a killer band! :-)
     I want to be honest as I transition here a bit. I can't really write something about life without including God's truth. He tells us "do not fear" I'm not going to throw out numbers of how many times he says it because honestly I don't care. If God says is ONCE, that's enough for us. At the moment, though, I am having a tough time trusting God, even though I know he's in control of all things and has a proven track record of perfect care. I can't remember the last sermon I heard that didn't pertain to my situation. He is speaking to me but I quickly forget. It's like there's some magnetic field that I walk through after church or bible study or an encouraging lunch conversation that sucks that belief right from my heart. I quickly reach out to that rope of fear to hang on to for security.
     I will end with this illustration. I had a vision once of what clinging to sin has been like in my life. There's a dark room and I cannot see a ceiling, walls or floor. It's almost like it's not even a room but the light reveals several ropes hanging down. The ropes represent security. The texture of the ropes reminds me of those velvet ropes they use to rope off boundaries to celebrities. They appeared strong and I could easily swing from one sin to another having a blast doing so. It was a way to curb my fear. Staying high, drunk, or pleasured by sensuality were easy and fun ways to numb my fear. Over time, the fun ropes lost their strength and they would break. Now it feels like the only rope I can cling to is the rope of fear. There is also a rope that slowly became visible to me...off in the distance. It didn't look like the "soft, fuzzy velvet rope of fun" and certainly not secure enough as the rope of fear . It actually looks huge and difficult to hold on to. This is the "Rope of Hope". Ironically I cling to the rope of fear because I'm afraid to reach to the Rope of Hope. I'm too afraid to put all of my trust in God's plan for my life. 
     As I encourage people to cling to God during fearful or sorrowful times, I am still a "work in progress". Let's continue to lift those around us up in prayer, that God would TRULY reveal himself to us in miraculous, supernatural ways, SO bright that the "shadow of doubt" doesn't even have a chance to cast itself over us. You are loved and cherished! Please share your story if you feel led! 
I'm just being honest!
Jason

"THIS SIDE OF EDEN"

Living in the pit...I just have to ask...

"WILL EVERYTHING SAD COME UNTRUE?..."

© Copyright 2013 Jason Steger Music

Gotta be real... in order to heal...

This is the motto I chose to describe the future of living out my days. 

WARNING: the contents of the following posts may contain very sensitive content that may shock you. 

You will see in my posts, that I will reveal the secrets of my life, the skeletons in my closet, the wounds of my past, and the regular wells of transgression I still drink from.  

Why will you be shocked? 

Because as I let you into my life, you will see that we're not really that different. Some... will think I am a monster. Some... will resonate with me. Either way, I'm guessing that (in me) you will find another human being that you can relate to in one way or another.

A friend of mine and fellow "understander", David Hampton has a great new book out called, Our Authentic Selves... In the book he paints an intimidating picture of you standing before a jury and forced to reveal the worst thing you've ever done.  The jury, though, erupts into a welcoming applaud after the convicted spills the beans. 

My hope is that as I spill my "beans of life" through blogging, music, one-on-one's, or from a stage... that I will be used to bring a hope to those of you who need healing and that you will begin to believe that YOU are valued, YOU have purpose, YOU are LOVED!!! 

I will not hide the fact that I am a true child of the Most High God, bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. He is my Lord, Savior and the author and perfecter of my faith. Because I am free from the guilt, shame and condemnation of my sin, I can boast in none other than Christ and Him crucified. 

It's time to GET REAL! 

I want to share my stories, my life, my passions, my hope, my love, and most effective... God's love... in order to bring healing to a wounded world. I want to give hope to the hopeless and freedom to the oppressed. 

I cannot do this alone so I need your help. Are you willing to fearlessly open your closet of filth and receive the applause for taking steps toward forgiveness and healing? 

If so... let's GET REAL IN ORDER TO HEAL!

I want to hear from ALL of you.

follow Jason on Twitter @Jstegermusic

"GO AWAY"...Anxiety

Below is my first time playing the song "Go Away" publicly

This song goes out to all of you who know Anxiety personally...

© Copyright 2013 Jason Steger Music

NEW SONG- "The Leper"

Do you have leprosy?...Physically, emotionally or spiritually?  Do your feelings of being shunned or pushed out of society leave you desiring to be loved unconditionally?

Listen below to hear the "Buzz on the street..."

Published on Oct 28, 2013

"The Leper" song lyrics and music by Jason Steger, Rap lyrics by Dishon Knox

© Copyright 2013 Jason Steger Music